I’m really tired and I’m sad. I’ve spent so much emotional energy on the aftermath of Prop 8 and the court’s disappointing decision last week. I know we’ll get there eventually, but I also know it is a long and bitter uphill battle and that “getting there” isn’t really the whole battle.
I think that that point is best exemplified by the pro-choice movement, which lost a heroic and compassionate physician this week. Dr. George Tiller, gunned down in his own church as he went to worship Sunday morning. I am not going to get too much into my own views on late term abortion or choice in general except to say that first, I’m pro choice, absolutely. Second, I know that sometimes a wanted pregnancy can go horribly awry very late. There are some diagnoses that can not be made in the first trimester. Third, as someone entering the medical profession, I believe in the idea of “quality of life” and I think that “Do no harm.” is something that, beyond simple ethical standards, each physician needs to interpret based on what is harmful for each individual patient.
I think that Dr. Tiller did what was heartbreaking and necessary. He stood next to these mothers on the worst day of they’d ever had and he helped them through what was probably the toughest decision of their lives. Not every physician would have the strength and fortitude to do that. He did it through death threats, having his clinic bombed, and getting shot once before in his arms, because he had the courage of his convictions and because there was no one else.
Now there isn’t anyone else to stand with these mothers and gently, compassionately, bravely help them through an unimaginable choice.
We are diminished, because of that. And I’m sorry for it.
The taking of a life in the name of G-d, any god, is so wrong I can’t even wrap my head around it. And as much as I am disgusted by the people who are celebrating Dr. Tiller’s death right now, I’m also sorry for them. They’ve got it so very wrong. They are the most diminished of all.
I am sorrowful and tired. I am sad that I don’t have the kind of grades I need to get into medical school. The world needs more doctors like George Tiller. Then again, the world in general, and women specifically, also need more nurses like the kind I will eventually be. We all do what we can. We all serve, the best we can.
So yeah. Sure. We “got there” with the right to choose and we will “get there” with the right to marry. It’s just that “getting there” isn’t, not really, when there are nutty religious terrorists, wingnuts with guns, on the other side. Who are ready to gun you down because they lost in the courts. We need to do better than that. It is just that the violence is so demoralizing, and that is just what they’re counting on, isn’t it?
““Then, they fight you.” Gandhi famously said: “First, they ignore you. Then, they ridicule you. Then, they fight you. Then, you win.”
I think the ridicule part is over, and the fighting part has started in earnest. And this is not (as many of us seemed to hope) going to be a metaphorical fight, but a real one — with guns and bombs and death involved. The fact is: In America, whatever liberties we win and keep have all been bought in blood, and that’s a historical truth that we are not going to get past any time soon.” — quoted, from Orcinus, written by Sara Robinson.
True, ‘dat.
Rest in peace, Dr. Tiller. Thank you for your service.
amen.
Amen. I was horrifed when I heard of Dr. Tiller’s murder. The gunman and his sympathizers are incomprehensible to me. In spite of their public posturing at present, the rhetoric of the anti-choice movement incites violence. They may not have pulled the trigger themselves, but they helped.
*Sigh* There’s a shortage of doctors like Dr. Tiller but there’s never a shortage of asshats, is there?
Raine, you are incredibly brave and kind for wanting to be that kind of nurse.
Actually, that isn’t the kind of nurse I want to be and it makes me sad. I want to be a nurse who works in maternal/child health, teaching moms and babies about lactation. I want to work through public health so that I can work with lower income moms in areas and with cultures who are underserved otherwise. Maybe at the OUTSIDE, I want to be a nurse midwife. I am sad at the feeling now that maybe that is not enough. It should be. I love moms and I love babies, I love women and I love promoting healthy, loving families that are made up of chosen children.
I will probably never be a nurse who assists with or provides abortion services directly – it isn’t in my chosen path. But I will absolutely be a nurse who insures women have the correct information, and who has all the information she needs to help insure that women always have a choice. Whether that is by assisting them with contraception, information about family planning or making sure they know a safe, clean place to go if they need it, I’ll do my best to provide them with a choice.
I am, in the end, much more in line with Margaret Sanger* than I am with Dr. Tiller about my desired scope of practice, but I think her work was just as important. But see, tis’ like I said. We are now diminished. Dr. Tiller’s work was important and until another doctor steps forward to take up the mantle, we’re left with a hole in the already very thin fabric of services available to women in need. We needed HIM.
*(barring her views on things like eugenics, of course, which I completely disagree with.)
Oh and also? Randal freaking Terry can bite me. Asshat. He and Bill O Reilly can take a long jump off a short pier into the shark pool pls. Their rhetoric caused this and other crimes like this.
I worked clinic defense in the 90’s. I’ve been grabbed, thrown into bushes or walls, punched, kicked, filmed without my consent, followed home and threatened/intimidated, screamed at, cursed at, prayed at, pushed to the ground… and towards the end of it? I was visibly pregnant. So much for their reverence for “life” – I ultimately quit because a 6′ tall man picked me up and threw me out of his way and into a brick wall so he could get into the face of the woman I was protecting as she walked from the parking lot to the clinic door. That was the day I decided my baby was in danger from those nutjobs and it was necessary for me to quit to protect HER life. So I took off my vest and I went home that day and didn’t go back the next. Know what? The movement was diminished then too. Just, in such a small way, nothing at all compared to losing Dr. Tiller.
I am thinking that it is time to rejoin that fray, at least. If nothing else right now, I can don an orange vest and make sure women get inside the doors safely. They shouldn’t have to endure that. Just saying.
Oh, and have a look at the post Kate Harding did on “Shapely Prose” if you haven’t been there already. It was a great piece on Dr. Tiller’s murder.
Love Kate’s writing. Have you read her co-author, Marianne Kirby’s blog “The Rotund”? Marianne is, I am so squeeful to say, someone I consider to be a good friend. She’s so cool.
Broadsheet and I think Shakesville also had some commentary that were good.
Oh, yes. I definitely follow “The Rotund”. Love Marianne’s writing.
You be whatever kind of nurse/human being you’re called to be. Like you, I don’t agree with everything Margaret Sanger did, but she was incredibly brave to fight the climate of the day to make birth control accessible.
I’m not sure yet if I’m brave enough to be one of those clinic “escorts”. I’m still trying to decide where my path is in helping/volunteering outside of my regular job. Like you, I prefer to educate rather than confront.
Be careful and be brave.
(((hugs)))